big things in solartown

or solarworld whatever the fuc k

so today, at school, out of fuckin nowhere, we get to ride a car. how cool is that??? well.. cool until i hit something at the speed of light and kill myself! still i dont know why the fuck we d id this considering this was one of the classes where i learn about windmills, and whatever the fuck is in a heat pipe (and all that shit). so the guy (teacher) whips out an electric car (luckily it wasnt his meat like some freaks would say). now im kinda aware on everyone's opinions on electric cars, nobody likes them and stuff yadda yadda but i wont get into that today (and i dont plan on doing an essay on why i "hate" these cars even though i pay no attention to these cybertruck mfs). so as of me writing this, im solarfiction, been fresh on the fuckin' tube since 8 months ago i guess. im 15 (soon to be 16 in a month, give me 10$ for doing absolutely n othing) and this day, has been the day, i drive a vehicle

i wonder when ill do a driving test and fuck something up

maybe ill return to this w hen im 27 (possibly still pumping out animations, probably 6 feet unde r, both work juuust fine!)

safety patrol

yeah im safety patrol as of today (exactly 2nd april 2025 8:09 PM, POLAN D TIME). this doesnt make me cool in any shape or fo rm but ive been constantly nutting about "oh hey this shit looks cool i wanna see this fuckin g icon right on my fuckin profile you fucking dirt-fuckin-bags!"

well tell past tense solarfic tion that i have it (probably wont since i managed to get from 219 points to 300 in less than 24 hours thanks to the april fools submissions)

let the kiddo be happy (fun fact : i was a few days younger when past tense solarfiction wrote th at! we age)

how to not make a good april fools joke

remembered people do this often

"helo, its me. [random corny ass username youll ever find]. today i will delete my [social media] and quit forever.... just kidding april fool rickroll link you are an idiot link pornhub link LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!"

if you do this and i happen to find you, i will choke you in a non-orgasm-inducing way

this joke is rateddd.... 5% ON THE TOMAT O SCALE!

something somethi n coolswag.co m

solarfiction joins the blam crew

that one thing he hates, heres how

so, if i have to be honest. "the blam crew" (something i call all people of ng who engage in frequent blamming) fuckinnnn.. sucks! theres only a limited option of actual good blammers who will tell you on how to improve your animations while giving you that nasty stain of a mark which is a blam.

what makes a bad blammer be well.. a "bad blammer"? well examples are poligeektoons and alextoolstudios for one, i dont like their way of shooting certain movies in the head. im just not fond of it. besides they kinda take it a bit way too seriously at times. (kind of like how a redditor would treat their internet brownie points, karma as something useful in their life)

anyways, today, i felt like i need to start reviewing stuff again which is something i used to do a lot back in the days of old solarfiction (wow, i can finally say this.. i gu ess). and i need to start using 1 star, 2 star, 3 stars more. my reviews always used 4 or 5 most of the time which is a bit.. LaMe!!!

TOWN WATCH!!

i dont like bragging, like at all. but i just wanted to show that i do have town watch and hopefully i get to a higher level soon. i was a bit tired of seeing the default one you get (also the bonus aint 0% anymore!)

feel free to greet me with welcomes or death threats! i take anything : ]

and if you want me to review your work and give you a piece of advice, make sure to shoot me a PM!

GHEESTOBESTO

ASBESTO performance by solarfictions

if theres something strange......

and it dont look GUUUUD..

who you gonna caull?

the NUT BUSTER!

IOANFDOINAOIEFONI ONAONF ONIAFNOIOIAONI ONIAONIFI DASLKFAE NLKANLKWAE LKN NLKK 32NK N4 K1NK4L K5NL1NLK43 1;' 34;1;'T;';G4 2;'TK;'RKFL;'2L4 RF;'L1; L;'1FL;'L 'F;L1' ;1L '; FL1' F;L;'L1 ;'LF;'L1 nutting sounds commence

a lil man.

sleepin in yo bed!

..he nutted in the bed.

the GHOOST nutteddd!

AND NOW ITS TIME FOR YOU TO NUT TO THIS SOUNG!

oiadsofijoeai ojofije a' ;a';a;';';'af' lc';acl;'' alc;'evmme a;e';'mf;'ma ;'e;'m;'mrw;'m ;'emf; m;'mw rm;'w;m' m; 'wm;'

GHOSTTTTT NUTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

doot

solarforums shall rise again

oh cool. an update after a month

so i saw some people wondering about the updates on the solarforums, so i thought "ehhh.. fuck it lets update it" and, our site has a cool design now. it looks A LOT better and nicer than the older one (R.I.P old site design 12th december, 2024 - 21st march, 2025). one problem is that its hard to read sometimes, but i could possibly fix that in the next upcoming update

SEE YA!

another rant? when the fuck is this guy happy?

with discord, the answer is never. here is why

hello ladies, gentlemen and attack helicopters. today i will talk about quite possibly the worst messaging app there is, discord. you know whta they say, "fuck discord, all my homies hate discord", but WHY? why is do the homies hate discord? well i already explained it here, go back to part one of the discord chronicles, you lazy fuck. (yes i love screaming at my fans, i do not care if this intimidates you or makes you squirt out of your vag')

BUUUUUUT as i was saying, long story short, discord is a greedy ass company that makes their app worse and worse day by day. microtransactions, and not to mention... THE LOBOTOMIZED MOBILE VERSION! WHAT THE HECK?!

discord's HORRIBLE mobile app

so i use discord on my phone a lot, despite switching over to teamspeak. and here is the thing i caught on. sometimes, when i message someone like say :

(the thing below is not an actual conversation but its meant to show you how discord mobile RUINS me physically)

"fruitpummel, make oatmeal you fat fuck" i press send to my dearest friend, footpimple at around 3:30 PM. and guess what happens.. get this; i return to the app an hour later, 4:36 PM right? it goes automatically to the DMs, nothing special, but.. the text turns from gray to white meaning it just got sent. at 4:36 PM.

...

OH MY GOD! GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY RIGHT 'ERE! HE IS BRAINDEAD! *points at discord mobile*

seriously, what the fuck? am i not allowed to type anymore?

conspiracy on this shitty piece of junk

so, i switched to teamspeak blah blah blah, but the way i kind of view it is like you dump your ex (discord) for a girl with larger tits and whatever (teamspeak), ex is obviously furious and jealous so basically ex says "if i cant have fun, no one will!"

boom! no message sending privilege for you bitch! taste my dildo!

..wtf?

answer to why i dont quit discord fully

well first of all, it sure as hell hasnt happened a lot, but i actually got messages from people wanting to add me on discord because they liked the stuff i was making and wanted to talk. now i have absolutely no problems with people wanting to talk (you can send me a PM on newgrounds here regarding my discord and ill make sure to give you it because i dont post my account handle freely like a jackass, god knows what you people are gonna do) but if i quit, how the hell are people gonna contact me? i mean i guess id say the solarforums but for now people are not joining, and a lot of people have discord anyway (i feel sorry for them, theyre missing out on a hot piece of ass like teamspeak.. dro ols)

summary

shit

anyways i thought this was a little funny, so thats about it. SEE YA!

woohoo, opinion on the internet

waiting for people to ejaculate on me over this

yeah, i dont really like takeover tuesday. now i know im not exactly the "OG" of newgrounds but i liked NG when it didnt have this. now i dont really have a problem with showing off small creators work, it could help them get popular which is nice, who knows, maybe you're helping the next animator of the century (but you wouldnt even knooooow..). what i do have a slight problem with is some people buying supporter, publishing something and automatically featuring it in hopes of getting internet points

woah??! WTF! so you cant bump yourself up anymore?!

now hold on, theres a catch. i only have that problem when the submission in question is... kind of crap. which can happen sometimes. now im not saying everything on TT is shit, but if you are gonna submit something just to feature it on TT, then make it worth my time. (this is especially to small children who happened to have enough money for supporter, rare cases)

when i see someone featuring someone else's work on TT, i feel like it just is right. if you do that, then congrats you dont piss me off!

other things i dont like : takeover tuesday edition

• i cant see latest posts from friends / people i follow, GET THE FUCK OUT MAN IM NOT WATCHING YOUR SHIT!
• big boobies in my face the moment i open NG, now i dont have a problem with jerking off but i like to do it on my own.......thanks.
• its just tom fulp's way of saying "yeah, running low on money here", but i honestly dont mind it as much. business is business, i'd do the same thing too.
• i hardly go there at all, unless a video from the 2000s catches my attention or a big amount of reactions (oh yeah you have people on there reacting with the most random reactions there sometimes, but thats a problem everywhere on NG. let the kids put the square into the square hole or whatever)

okay fuck takeover tuesday, lets hear about solarfiction stuff

...uhhh.. well not much to say here. just 2 animations this much, comics, art, all that 'crap!

see ya in the next post! (scheduled : in 52 years, 3 hours)

i am officially a lia r

solarfiction would never do this

yes thats right, animation is not coming on this day, the 15th of february, which means i just said fuck you to lots of people for no reason..

uh about that.. um i er.. nevermind so i will polish it a little and post tommorow (im risking grades for this shi t, give me a 3.5 or sum bruh!)

keep in mind, i am a loser behind the screen trying to animate dancing penises too which you later have to rate (aaah! you thought i was gonna pull that "im a person too" bait? hell nah)

so uh yeah wait for the animation and fetch me a beer while you're at it

also i have a third channel if you used your eyeballs, check the videos because i uploaded something you MIGHT wanna see while waiting (link to random video, comment "here from newgrounds" like a good boy)

yeah ok im out now

rant time

because hospitals fucking suck and if you do not agree with me then suck my dic k

so uhh hospitals suck, THEY SUCK GIANT ASS!

why? first of all, iiiiiiiiiii am not a healthy person! (shocker) but yeah basing off the personal stuff i published before (news posts, art), i have some problems with health. now going to hospitals for a check up or test results, i have to wait fucking 30 MINUTES just for YOU to tell me i am [something something, insert here im too lazy]

oook? i do not personally give a fuck, im just here because you forced me here. i am in a purgatory and you are the tormentor here, i have places to be like a strip club or bullying homeless people!

seriously, i am developing an active phobia of hospital and healthcare buildings. dont stress me out with some shit like oh you have to get this surgery you dont like or ohh you have this basically for the rest of your life, i'd rather get AIDS than to hear that sort of bullshit, ya greedy growing pieces of mold!

now.. solarfiction... why did you make this post..?

no reason, just went for my EEG results today and i dont like waiting nor do i trust these people (if i cut my eyeball out, ill just put it back in! easy squeezy, i dont need your bullshit process that takes 25% of my networth and 29841 decades off my life!)

conclusion : hospital sucks, thank you for reading!

word of the day : grandma is dead (its not a word but you cant stop me)

we hit 52 foll ower let go + rant

here is me showing off

its cool, we went from 48 to 52

cannot wait to get to 57 (SOLARFICTION NUMBER!! SOLARFICTION NUMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

yea

quick rant about the site's new look

it sucks ass, pretty much dogshit, sorry fom tulp, but these content rating colors suck. T is E, M is T, A is M, what the fuck?? how will colorblind people who happen to not understand letters look at porn now without the search filter?! shame on ya, tom fulp.....

I HAVE MY EYES ON YOU...

new animation NOT coming on valentines day, its coming on february 15th (if i do not procrastinate), fuck you